With Mother’s Day approaching at the time of writing, this article addresses the deeply emotional and painfully challenging experience of losing one’s mother. Also, many people suffer from the profound feelings of grief that often arise on poignant occasions such as Mother’s Day.
Grieving the Loss of a Mother
It is, of course, normal to experience such pain when you consider the special relationship that you shared. But there are ways that you can alleviate and help to resolve this grief.
The renowned psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, proposed 5 stages of grief (Kubler-Ross Model) as:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Just understanding and acknowledging the process that you are going through can be a large step towards acceptance – the sort of acceptance that says, “my mother has died but I will be okay’. While the order of the stages may seem logical, not everyone will follow exactly this order or experience all of the stages. But, these are the most commonly observed.
As the day approaches and you begin to feel dread at the prospect of a miserable resurgence of grief, be proactive and plan ahead with these ideas to:
Honour your Mum on Mother’s Day:
- Write a letter where you reminisce about good times you shared and tell her your life stories since her death.
- Tell your own children stories about your mum.
- Spend quality time with your own family on Mother’s Day.
- Reminisce with brothers and sisters.
- Be brave and get out the photo album and celebrate the memories.
- Donate to a charity in your mother’s name – ideally one that she supported.
- Volunteer and do something for others in need on Mother’s Day.
There is no short way to get over the loss of your mother, but you will ease the way by understanding the process and honouring her memory. And, while the old adage that ‘time heals’ is not completely true, the pain will definitely become more bearable with time.