Relationships are an integral part of being a human, and when we are in a relationship, we tend to be happier. However, some relationships are toxic, and these make us unhappy and often result in disharmony and regret. Of course, a positive relationship can help increase our emotional wellbeing; it is always good to have someone to count on in a time of crisis. Relationships also create stability, as having a good friend allows us to feel more balanced and less alone or anxious. Even the child in the playground needs only one friend to feel better at school.

However, relationships can be problematic. It is the relationships that are the most troubling that enable us to grow and learn more about ourselves. Of course, it is not pleasant when there is a crisis in a relationship. Still, if we think about it, when it comes to relationships, they often become ‘habits of crisis’ as we leap from one relationship crisis to another, whether with our parents, partners, work colleagues or friends. Relationship crises are a pattern of every person’s life. These cannot be avoided, so don’t run away from them if they happen.

Let’s look at these crises not as something to be ignored or avoided at all costs but instead to experience, which allows us to examine our strengths, purpose, and motives. We can use the relationship crisis as a chance to grow and become more resilient. Relationships are great, and we all like connection to another person, but instead of just accepting every person as a friend or acquaintance, step back and reflect on whether this is a good relationship and one you want to continue being part of, or whether it is toxic.

The toxic crisis it creates in your life is something from which you want to disengage. Without relationships, we would be unhappy, but some relationships make us down, and that is up to us to discern what is good for us and when we want to let go. It may cause hurt in the short term, but the long-term goodwill far outweighs the negative.

If you would like to speak with a counsellor about how we can support you, please contact us.

Liz McCaughey

Find out more about Liz here

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